If you're reading this, there's a good chance your ex has broken up with you. Or you broke up with them and now regret it. Either way, you may be researching the best books on relationships. There are lots of them. And many - maybe even most - will make a fool out of you.
In fact, there are some excellent books to help you better understand relationships, and specifically, how to repair one that has taken a bad turn. But how can you find the right one? How can you be confident you'll be getting the best advice around?
The answer to this question might surprise you. But here we go.
Practical Experience Trumps Fancy Credentials
There are some great therapists, psychologists, certified coaches, etc. out there. But when it comes to relationships, no one can tell it to you straighter than someone who has been through it. Lots of PhDs know lots of theory - and don't know squat about the real life complications of a relationship involving a real man and a real woman with real problems and emotions. "Experts," in this case, many not have the expertise you require.
When searching for the right book for YOU, look for those written by authors who have either salvaged their own hopeless relationship, or learned the hard way what was important by losing it all. Also those who have worked with, and successfully helped many others - particularly people they know and care about. Professional help is great and can be very valuable. But when it comes to books on this topic, practical experience is the way to go.
There's More To A Relationship Than What's Wrong With YOU
So many of these books simply tell you to get away from your ex for awhile and work on your own problems. Then you can come back later, a new person, and create a much stronger relationship. Not that fixing yourself is easy, it's not. But it takes more than that to repair a broken relationship. Your friends can tell you how selfish you are, or how you gave up the best thing you ever had.
Hunt for books that give you new insights, new ideas, information you've never read or considered before.
What do women want more than anything else? What makes a man really appreciate and respect his partner? Is it really possible to repair a relationship after an affair? How can you get past the pain? And not just the insights, but the steps to get you where you need to go. Practical, applicable information.
Learn From Others' Experience
What about all those testimonials? Do they matter? Well that depends. They matter if they're real, say something of value and ring true.
In my own research, there are a number of books where I can't find ANY testimonials online other than on the author website. Bad sign. If people have used the book and created the relationship of their dreams, they will tell others.
Search for books that are recommended by all kinds of people. Maybe even some positive comments with not-so-positive outcomes. This is real life, not a fairy tale. If someone says they were unable to salvage their relationship, but learned from the book how to make sure their next relationship lasts, that's a great testimonial.
There are lots of relationship books for sale. Most of them are worthless - mostly because they were written by people who haven't been through it themselves. The result is vague, generic information that will only make you feel like a fool.
There are some, though, that are worth their weight in gold. Finding them might take some effort. But then, so do great relationships. And in both cases, it's worth it.
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